Funny campfire stories

I'm just a rookie, and recently bought myself a new coil for my detector, ($400+).
Got it home, had a good look at it, to find the seams where coming apart. I was devastated.
After a phone call to the manufacturer, I learnt that the seams that were coming apart, was actually a removable skid plate.
You can't get more rookie than that..    
If you can top this one, let's hear it..

A certain young lady ?    I have been known to prospect with once told me about a trip she went on by herself with her new rifle, after hearing some shots close by she decided that with the aid of a not so bright spotlight that she had rigged up she would go and get herself some fresh wallaby for the camp oven, after spotting her quarry entering some long grass on the edge of an orchard she stopped her vehicle to take a shot, confident that she could just make out the wallabies white breast through the grass in the dim light she fired and was disappointed to see it still standing! and somewhat unaffected by her shooting, determined to eat skippy another shot was fired, still with no effect!   she decided to venture closer and upon inspection of her "target" she discovered she had just shot the farmers 9 Kg gas cylinder on his bird scarer gas gun...twice!, fortunately both rounds hit the cylinder collar and no real harm was done except to her pride when she had to front the owner and confess to her mistake.  .

Wayne.