Orders are Orders!

The phonecall came at 2300hrs - you will report to HQ @ 0900hrs.

At 0830hrs, I left home to head for the base. On the way, I passed by Dave's place & gave him a couple of toots on the horn. (some of you know him as Tex @ Neils Tractor Parts in Dubbo)Normally Dave is at work at 0800hrs!!?? I therefore made a mental note to drop in for coffee after I had finished at the base. The ambient temperature had just risen up to -1 & the frost was thick.

The job at the base only took a couple of hrs & I headed home planning on stopping at Dave's place. Upon arrival, I found he had gone. I decided to ring him at work to see if he was coming back home.

One of the blokes called PJ answered the phone & when I asked for Dave, he burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

Did I say something wrong PJ I asked?
I'll let Dave tell you the story he said - you'll never believe me.

Dave came on the line.
Hi Dave, I believe you have a story for me I said.

Gary he said. The kids decided to camp over at the other house last night & I was alone at my house. At 6am, I got up for my normal toilet pitstop & all I had on was my undies. The temperature was minus 4 degrees but I wasn't planning on staying long. I shut the door behind me & there was a thump, thump sound as the door knob fell off from the other side taking the lock key with it & I was left holding only the knob on the inside!!!
I knew I was in trouble because There is only a very small window in the loo & the neighbours were over 100meters away so they couldn't hear me shout.
There was no-way I could open the door & it was cold - bloody cold. I tried running around the 1200mm room to keep warm, I read 6 junk mail catelogues & it seemed like hrs before I heard the phone ringing - that was my first clue that it was approaching 8 oçlock as that would have been work looking for me. After what seemed like forever, I heard you blowing the horn out front & thought - thank God, he'll drop in for coffee.
The phone rang another dozen times & I was blue, had almost stopped shivering & was numb from head to toe.

At 11am, I could hear banging on the front door & couldn't get the energy to answer. The banging stopped & I then heard the front gate open & close.
Luckily for me, as John (a workmate sent out to find Dave) was getting into his car to go, my Daughter showed up.
She went to the toilet window & looked inside & saw a sorrowful & pittiful site.

It still took them 10 minutes to get me out of the loo & into the shower.

Why didn't you drop in for coffee?

I nearly did Dave but the Sgt had said be at the base at 0900hrs. I don't like to be late for obvious reasons besides that, if I had dropped in for coffee, then we wouldn't have a story to tell would we?

Poor Dave has fixed the loo door now & it doesn't get closed until he's heading out the door for work.

Unfortunately, Dave has 2 more similar stories regarding frost & hypothermia - I'll print them up another time.

Gary.

Thanks Gary.

We have heard about the red back but not the door knob, The thought of Dave in the dunny would certainly be a pitiful site

Jeff